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My journal

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1/27/2015

44 and so much more!

That is this years' motto. Also this.... Why do you need resolutions if you are already resolute in your intentions? If you want to lose weight, don't go on a crash diet! Simply be resolute in changing your eating habits. You don't need to starve, just eat more sensibly. Do you want to be more economically frugal? You don't need to shred the credit card (tempting as it might be) in order to stay within your budget. Be more resolute in what is realistic as to what your buying! Do I really need that?

Too much of the time we throw out these laconic pledges of "I'm not going to blah blah anymore.." well, good for you, but don't be surprised if three months from now you've dismissed or conveniently let go of that pledge for the same old comforts of familiarity. What is lacking is not our desire to change but our resolve as to what change actually means

It isn't radical. You don't need to split the tides and alter the orbit of the Earth. Hydro-electric dams do that for us (thank you China). Rather, alter your own orbit. Look inside and see what's not gelling right. Be resolute in your fearlessness when learning from your mistakes and make informed decisions about what to do or where to go next. That is a healthier existence as we spin around the Sun.

Happy New Year!

7/29

I have not mentioned lately - or AT ALL - that I simply ADORE practicing Yoga. South Boston Yoga has been delightful. It means many different things to many different people who practice it, but for me it's about 'Breath' and Blood Flow. Actually listening to yourself breathe is a very calming and grounding technique. We hardly ever do it. That little practice defuses every form of panic or fear, anger or hostility, the energy is then used for concentrating directly on what you are and where you are now. 'Blood Flow' because the stretching is allowing the blood to flow to places it doesn't usually flow through. When the blood reintroduces itself to those places and moves things around, we change ourselves and become more radiant.

It's amazing to think about when I look back at how things were going last year when I first started practicing seriously and the road and distance that has been traveled and traversed since then. Yoga has been an important vehicle in this way for me. Even when I'm engaged in "good naughty", like going out with friends on a Monday night until about 1am, and waking up feeling more than a little rancid, the Yoga is there and when I go to it, it forgives me. 

We all need to be less hard on ourselves. We all need to chill the f # < k out. 

Spring - Summer

It's been a busy year so far - happy to say! 

Started off at The School of Groove in E. Cambridge where I picked up valuable skills in my marketing resume. The staff and teachers, students and parents there were wonderful to get to know and I made strong friendships with all of them there. I recorded and edited videos of bands' performances, loaded them up to my YouTube channel to help promote Ransom Note Productions. This company I am building will have to be done incrementally, like most good things are built. RNP is going to become a young bands' catering service. Transportation, Video Recording, Promotions, etc. I am still working on the business model and the pages will be finished in the next week.

 

Happy to have found The Duplessy Foundation and the Purpose Rockstar Podcast! This has been an invaluable experience; working with Boston's Youth to become artists and entrepreneurs. We had an event at Nixon Peabody for Photographer Jaypax Belmer, which went down perfectly. Derrick Duplessy has been an inspiration to me. He has forward and grounded thinking abilities. A man of integrity and 'Yoda-esque' thought processes. Derrick has seen a lot. Done a lot. Listens a lot. I have all the time in the world for this fine, young man and I wish him and his lovely bride to be, Shelly, the best that life can offer.  

 

Personally, this has ben a challenging time. Growing into a new skin is painful and jagged. I was working on a thought for quite a while that conjured to the surface of my conscience in the middle of last year. I painted the face of a person I knew on a problem. That problem was 'co-dependency'. Searching for external elements to fix an internal issue. The way forward is to not search for the external aid, but to search WITHIN, to find out why the problem exists in the FISRT PLACE! Getting to the seed requires time and effort - and definitely an internal, solitary exploration. The outcome has helped shape me into a more complex and substance- rich man who the definition of is in a constant and positive evolution.

A man and his thoughts can teach a tremendous amount. 

I am not perfect nor do I have all the answers. All I can say is that I am here. HERE - and by being 'here' is the process in how the answer presents itself. I leave you now with this......

"I'm an indisguisable shade of twilight.

Any second now, I'm gonna turn myself on

In he blue display of the cool cathode ray

I dream a highway back to you"

-Gillian Welch 

 

1/30

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse in the world of Rock n Roll, the unthinkable has happened…..again!

Heavy Metal band Motley Crue announced on Tuesday that they are shredding their strings for the last time this year with a farewell tour of 72 dates across the U.S and Canada, they announced from Hollywood last night. The announcement came with a fitting look for the band, exemplified by each member sitting  with their own tombstone.

The tour will have aging “shock rock” artist Alice Cooper on the bill as an opening act, with ticket sales starting at $15 on Friday.

“We want to go out with the four founding members of Motley Crue and go out on top.” says front man Vince Neil.

“We want to leave a legacy (and) we want to have some dignity.” – added bass guitarist Nikki Sixx.

“On top”? “Dig-nity”?!  they say? Just exactly “on top” of what? Perhaps a scale? Vince Neil could be sponsoring diet milkshakes, which would be an apt departure from his other choice of beverage he was known for.

As far as “dignity” goes, well, that’s up for debate too. For a band that has released less than ten albums in a career spanning over 30 years, that include numerous break ups , firing members and management, Motley Crue’s off stage escapades speak louder than their songs. Everything from drug and alcohol addiction, cashing in on horrific incidents’ that include, overdose, death, vehicular homicide, jail and rehab and ending with a Country Music version of their catalog, the term “Dignity” can be largely dismissed. (At least there isn’t a 100 piece classical orchestra involved, stand up Metallica!)

Whatever dignity Motley Crue FELT they had, went out the door in the 90’s with the rest of the big haired, glam bands like Ratt., Yes, I list those bands in the same sentence.

They say that this is the end, along with countless other bands before them like The Eagles, Journey and Lynyrd Skynyrd, adding to the long list of slowly deteriorating, twilights that are now shadowy reflections of their former glory.

Just you wait. Rock bands, no matter how old or rich and famous they are, or THINK they are, when they say are about to embark on their last waltz, inevitably come back. There is no greater way to treat the hardcore fans of rock n roll as the ultimate “sucker” than convincing them that their childhood, pre -adolescent icons are calling it quits, only to scrape up whatever cash they can muster in and buy the latest fleet of Jet Skis before planning a reunion tour.

1/25

There are few things that I covet in my life. One of them is the Garland Stove that was dismantled and hauled up from our home of 25 years in Westchester County, NY. Now it rests in my parents' beloved Vt. B&B where it has nourished guests and family and has been the soul of the house since 1996.

The other is this motorcycle....


To the trained eye, this is no ordinary motorcycle. This is the BMW R69S.  The 42 hp engine was manufactured between 1960 to 1969 and to this day is an unparalleled combination of both style and engineering. What is so beautiful about this machine is that its very essence doesn't lend itself to sex appeal. What is sexy about it is that in today's trend of cosmopolitanism rocket ship, flamboyant, techno colored madness that tries to convince the consumer that they are riding an extension of their erection, the R69S' subtlety IS it's sex appeal. 

The bike is all about restraint on vanity and emphasizes its beauty in the mechanics. The exposed engine, not hiding behind plastic, the retro fitted frame, the drive shaft (absence of chain) and the color. Elegant, flat black. Nothing glossy, no unnecessary decals or sponsorship.

The BMW R69S, in all of its aged glory, is the very definition of what should be today's modern man. Subtle in his presence, not obstreperous but stead fast in his demeanor and purpose. Built for the long haul and mileage, not a flash in the pan. To be handled with care and not underestimated. 

My father is the proud owner of this motorcycle that he bought brand new in 1966. As much as I say about the style and grace of this machine, the same attributes can be applied to the man who owns it and still rides it to this day. Subtle and strong. Elegant and serious. Cool.

She sits perched on her proud stand in our garage and I await after 43 years for us to be formally introduced.

1/22

 Finding an outlet to obtain foreign Passport photos is proving to be difficult, but not impossible. Though Boston is accused, falsely, of not being an international town, (yes, I said 'town') addressing manners of international protocol does have its moments that are....shall we say..onerous. To launch into a diatribe in this would be pointless. I digress. sss.ss.

The thought of the moment for me is that even with the advent of apps and websites where one thinks he, she, it, they have the whole world in the palm of their hands, in actuality we do not! The website I am grappling with isn't allowing me to use my iPhone photos (selfies, commonly referred to in Instagram jargon) and I will have to resort to the real world of the United States Post Office!! Or even CVS! (a Massachusetts company, I believe? fact check please!). It's not that I don't like walking in the snow, I just know that I am more tech savvy than these first world, supposedly life simplifying, albeit ornery, technological advances make me out to be

In short, if anyone reading this knows where I can get a 4x3 passport photo taken in Boston? Please advise. Thank you for your time.

1/ 16

"And you will find a fortune - though it will not be the fortune you seek...But first, first you must travel a long and difficult road - a road fraught with peril, uh-huh, and pregnant with adventure. You shall see things wonderful to tell. You shall see a cow on the roof of a cotton house, uh-huh, and oh, so many startlements...I cannot say how long this road shall be. But fear not the obstacles in your path, for Fate has vouchsafed your reward. And though the road may wind, and yea,your hearts grow weary, still shall ye foller the way, even unto.... your salvation." - OBWAT

12/24/13

If the universe has an invitation, a calling or a sign, it will make itself known. I'll be listening. I have no regrets for what I've done and what I've said this year. Especially where I've been both physically and emotionally. It takes a significant amount of courage, I think, to purposefully travel into your darkest corners and sit there. Be afraid, feel the insecurity, be aware of just how fragile one can be. After some time has gone, you suddenly begin to see again, not just through your eyes, but in your heart. The simmering essence of the 'self' begins to appear. 

In the years I've been back to America, there has been much to go through and sort out. LIVING those experiences rather than studying them from afar. The role one plays, how one interacts with family, finds their footing in new communities. Bound to step on a few toes. If you're someone like me, you know you don't do it intentionally.... Not everybody knows you though. They slowly get to and that is an envelope that cannot be pushed! Experiences are times shared. Whether they are with yourself or others. I choose not to walk by myself anymore. I choose to walk with myself and lead by example as a good son, uncle and brother should. 

I am thankful for your patience, good people.

Have a prosperous 2014 and Merry Christmas.

December 9, 2013

I've been working on a deck in Vermont recently. A long project since our crew leader nearly got his thumb severed off on his table saw. So now, I'm the one who's doing the cutting and measuring, running around the scaffolding, well, most of the time anyway. It's work and I need it but building isn't the kind of work I'm cut out for. 

I look forward to making a deck at my own house one of these days. Glad I got the skills and the know how, still looking for that job in Boston though which is stunningly hard. I'm waiting for this year to be over. 2014, you'll be my year for sure.

Not going to go to a bar or anything like that. Might just go out for a walk or up a hill somewhere. Getting all drunk and plastered on New Years Eve isn't my idea of a good time anymore. 

11/13

Had a terrific time with my brother last weekend at his house. We saw David Bromberg in Tarrytown, NY which is always a fun time. We had a good catch up about a lot of family stuff and on our personal sides of what life is bringing us. I noticed that he is trying to bring out a more social side of his personality which is new to me and interesting. Interesting because I see a change in my reaction to him when he is like that. 

We have our rolls in family. We each play something and when someone steps out of it, there is a reaction. I want to be more welcoming of his decision to change things and bring down his old walls. After all- we're all changing, all the time, aren't we?